How I’ve Missed You, Megan Fox
We haven’t heard from this generation’s Nietzsche in a while, because all geniuses must recharge their brains to continue to fart out words of wisdom like the ones Megan Fox gave to W Magazine. Megan has turned shitting out of your mouth into an art, and she doesn’t disappoint here.
In the magazine, Megan talks about her panty ad for Armani. Megan doesn’t think she looks classy in panties at all. Megan thinks that when she puts on a bra she looks like something Alberto Vargas created with his own hands. You can’t make this up, but Megan can! She said, “There are some women you could put in underwear and photograph them, and it looks really classy and it doesn’t necessarily provoke a pinup image. But with me, it does, immediately. As soon as I’m in underwear, I’m a Vargas girl.”
Let’s just pat Megan on the head and keep moving on….
Megan thinks she would make a wonderful mother, because she’s really good at soothing Brian Austin Green when he cries about his career in the middle of the night, “No one believes me when I talk about this, but I’m really maternal. I worry that because I’ve always wanted [kids] so much, as the world goes sometimes, I won’t be able to have them, even though I would be able to provide them with such an amazing environment.”
And finally, you won’t find Megan sitting with the other Hollywood actresses in the cafeteria, because she says she has no interest becoming friends with the likes of ScarJo or MiserAlba: “I especially don’t trust girls in this industry, because it’s incredibly competitive, and I’m just not interested.”
See, this is why Megan is the thinking whore’s Natalie Portman. Who wants to play patty cake with the girls when you can play patty cake with a peen in the boy’s bathroom. You know, sometimes I really think Megan and I share the same brain….and that’s why I drink.