Brooke Mueller Is Still A Wreck

Charlie Sheen’s wife Brooke Mueller has once again checked her crackhead ass into rehab for substance abuse. This is Brooke’s – oh why bother counting. TMZ says that Brooke shuffled off to The Canyon in Malibu last Tuesday. Bitch is still on that narcotic, I see.

Just last month, Brooke was hospitalized for pneumonia. Right after she was released from the hospital, she went off to a rehab facility in North Carolina. Brooke’s rep swore she was just there to recuperate from her pneumonia, but several sources said she was really there to quit the bad shit. And now she’s back in the tank!

Another source tells Radar that right before Brooke went to rehab on Tuesday, she hit the bottle like my relatives at a funeral. The source went on to say, “It was just more of the same with Brooke. Her mother had been begging her to go into rehab. It got to the point where even Charlie told her to go to rehab because of their kids. She had one final party, drinking pretty heavily, and Charlie was with her part of the time. But when he left it didn’t stop. The next day she was in bad, bad shape and that’s when she went into rehab.”

Brooke’s latest rehab stint could ruin the prosecution’s case against Charlie Sheen. Charlie is in trouble in Aspen for allegedly beating on his wife on Christmas Day. Brooke claims Charlie put a knife to her froat and threatened to off her. They both had the sweet nectar running through their veins at the time. And if Brooke admits that she was doing drugs around the time of the Christmas incident, her credibility could be shot to hell.

At this point, Charlie and Brooke should just drive their kids into the woods and let them be raised by wild otters. Better yet, they should just put the children on Denise Richard’s doorstep, ring the bell and then run away. You know, I never thought I would actually type a sentence like that and actually mean it. You see what Charlie and Brooke are doing?! They are summoning the end of days!