You might still have the taste of leaky ass juice on your tongue from listening to an amazing voicemail left by Dimitri the Lover (the self-proclaimed Casanova of Toronto) that made the rounds a couple of years ago. In the voicemail, Dimitri told a lady she was very “elegant” (for this I can never fully hate Dimitri) before attacking into her for not returning his calls. Well, he’s baaaaaaaaack and this time he’s not only terrorizing your ear holes AND genitals, but now he’s violating your eyeballs too. Hell, he’s making all your organs ache in a bad way.
Dimitri is currently shopping a Borat-style documentary around, and the test trailer for it is above. It basically farts for itself (i.e. “I am the Travelocity of vaginas”). Just like the douchebag himself, it will make your privates ache as if it got a Brazilian wax with Gorilla Glue.
And I also can never look at a $1 bill the same way again, because Dimitri looks like something you’d get if you mixed George Washington, Fabio, a 42-year-old virgin, a cup of pina colada lube, National Lampoon and the clearance rack of a Men’s Warehouse.
And just for record-keeping purposes, I would definitely not hit it even if he wore an Anderson Cooper mask (I’m lying).