Miga, Quatchi and Sumi (or Bottom, Top and Versatile as I like to call them) were already named Hot Sluts back in 2007 when they were first unveiled in a cloud of weed smoke, but I’m giving them the title once again to celebrate the start of the Olympics today.
Mukmuk’s little ass got added in later, and they call him the “sidekick.” Uh huh, sidekick my asshole. You know that bitch is their dealer. I mean, look at the beanie he’s wearing. Bitch is carrying.
Take a good look at these four. They might look all happy and clean now, but by the time this party is over, Miga will have a ruptured prostate, Sumi will be in jail for solicitation and Quatchi will be in rehab for his addiction to the “other” snow.
And if you’re in Poland, don’t let the newspapers fool you. There isn’t a fifth mascot. That bear with the shifty child-touching eyes and hot fingers is not part of that group. It’s none-other-than Pedobear.
As a joke, Canadian artist Michael Barrick added Pedobear to a portrait of the mascots. A paper in Poland (insert your “How many polish people does it take…” joke here) mistakenly ran it as an official picture. That means that many Polish children probably cut this picture out and hung it on their wall. Chris Hansen, please report to Poland with a sledgehammer immediately!
(Top picture via Flickr)