Shoe-Han Is No More

February 10, 2010 / Posted by:

White Oprah’s big dream of being the Christian Louboutin of the pill-popping child pimp set has been dashed! Last year, White Oprah announced her shoe line called Shoe-Han in an elaborate press conference in the parking lot of a Ross, which was attended by Nana Lohan and a few local drug dealers. White Oprah had big plans to launch the line on Mother’s Day of this year, but fortunately for the world Shoe-Han has crashed and burned like Lindsay Lohan at 7am.

Love My Shoes, the company that was going to produce Shoe-Han, has backed out and is blaming the recession. They issued this statement to Fox411: “Love My Shoes regrets to announce we are not moving forward with the Dina Lohan line of shoes at this time due to continued economic sluggishness and the prevalent mood of today’s shoppers. Love My Shoes and its President, Robert Yeganeh, wish Dina continued success in all her projects.

White Oprah’s rep (aka Ali Lohan with a voice changer) said that Love My Shoes was too local for them anyway, and they are looking for an even bigger partner.

An even bigger partner?! That White Oprah sure does get crazy thoughts in her dehydrated brain whenever she tries to think while sober. But seriously, she’s right. White Oprah should hit up the pharmaceutical companies, because I’m sure they’ll be interested in a line of shoes with a built-in compartment for your pills.

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