Here’s even more Imodium-laced quotes from John Mayer’s Playboy interview. John has already said that Jessica Simpson gets an A plus at fuck times and Jennifer Aniston wants to time travel back to 1998. John also talked about how he has a “hood pass” and how his penis is a members of the KKK.
When asked if black women try to get with him, John answered: “I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.”
John should really turn that quote into a jingle.
Playboy wanted to dig further by asking his ass which black women he thinks are hot: “I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, ‘Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.’ And you’d be like, ‘What? We weren’t talking about that.’”
And about that “hood pass,” John explained it like this: “Someone asked me the other day, ‘What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?’ And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’
What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.”
Where do we begin? Actually, let’s not, because my brain is still stuck on picturing John Nightmayer’s penis in a KKK robe. NOT TODAY.