This story is as old as time. A world famous superstar sensation turns her hairy back on the one true friend who loved her unconditionally when she was just a lonely cat lady who practiced kissing with her pillow and ate canned tuna for all her meals. But now that she’s the toast of the entire world, she has completely forgotten about her soul mate. A tragic tail.
Susan Boyle’s rep confirms to The Mirror says that she is no longer living with Pebbles the cat. SuBo is too busy traveling the planet and she’s only visited Pebbles three times in the past 7 months. Pebbles now lives with a retired woman who gets paid around $7 a day to care for SuBo’s ex-best friend. The woman said that the last time SuBo came around to visit, Pebbles wouldn’t even come out to tell the bitch “hi.” And do you blame the pussy?
Pebbles probably spent many a lonely night cuddling up next to a furry caterpillar thinking it was one of SuBo’s eyebrows. And when the caterpillar would sting her ass, Pebbles would continue to cuddle it. But nothing stings harder than being abandoned by your best friend for the cheap whore known as fame!
Pebbles will get her revenge by putting out an album of angsty chick rock songs about how SuBo did her wrong. Pebbles will be the Alanis Morrissette of 2010.