Still NO Peen

February 8, 2010 / Posted by:

A few months ago, Playgirl went web-only, because it’s easier for dudes to click a mouse than turn a page while masturbating. But they roared up printer again just for Levi. The magazine promises all nude “pix,” but just like the (NSFWish) internet spread you’re still not getting peen. Not even a tip. We get a handful of pit muff. You can develop a case of blue eyeballs all over again! However, I will give Levi a few nipple pinches for his “Someday I Will Be Senator” pose and bronzerface.

And in case you missed it, here’s the picture of Sarah Palin and her Alaskan telepalmpter at the Tea Party Convention in Tennessee over the weekend. The note on her hand does not say, “Pick up Levi’s Playgirl.” It says: “Energy“, “Tax” and “Lift American Spirits.” Sarah learned that trick from Piper obviously.

Honestly, who cares. The President uses a teleprompter, Sarah Palin uses a 4th grade cheat trick, and Michelle Obama stores all of her speeches in her intergalactic eyebrows of the universe. We all have our ways.

But you know what we really should be ranting and raving about?! The fact that there was a Gaylord tea party this weekend without oiled-up go-go dancers in spandex, poppers and the presence of Gay Al Reynolds. That is the REAL travesty.

via Gawker, TMZ and HuffPo

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