Brangelina Is Suing The News Of The World

We all need a break from the long-haired dead rat on Brad Pitt’s chin, so here’s a picture of Brangelina back in the olden days before they were Brangelina. And waaaay before the News of the World caused the ozone layer to melt by reporting two weeks ago that the super force known as Brangelina was dead.

That story was picked up by CNN, MSNBC, Fox News and every single one of your family members who drove you to reach for the straitjacket by asking, “Did you hear….?” Well, Brangie is trying to officially kill the rumor by suing the News of the World. I don’t have a copy of the History of Brangelina Bible close by, but I think this is the first time they have ever sued a tabloid.

The BBC reports:

In a story published on 24 January, the paper said the couple would separate and had agreed the division of assets and custody of their children.

The couple’s lawyer, Keith Schilling, called the “widely republished” allegations “false and intrusive”.

He added the paper had failed to meet “reasonable demands” for an apology.

He said the pair had also asked for a retraction of the allegations, which had subsequently been “widely republished by mainstream news outlets”.

You better believe Brangie is going to sue NOTW out of house and home! Then when the NOTW’s newly homeless and hungry children are crying on the sidewalk for a crumb of bread, Brangelina will swoop by in their Saint Mobile and adopt every single one of them. And when they win a Nobel Peace Prize for saving the children of impoverished tabloid editors, they will forgive the News of the World with a full heart. That will win them another Nobel Prize.