EW’s Michael Ausiello has gotten on his blow horn and is screaming that Alan Ball has cast the role of Debbie Pelt in season 3 of True Blood. After auditioning a ton of ladies, the role has gone to Brit Morgan who was in The Middleman and a movie called Beer for My Horses, which is going to magically find its way onto my Netflix queue.
In the books, Debbie Pelt is described as a psycho bitch who becomes Sookeh’s arch rival. Alan said Debbie will be featured more in the TV show than she was in the books. I didn’t read the books, because why bother when you can watch Alexander Skarsgard’s nipples act everything out for you.
And since I become Dyslexic for has-been TV stars, I read the headline as: Morgan Brittany cast in True Blood:
I raised my hands and praised St. Alan Ball for bringing the 80s Vivien Leigh out of the halfway house and back onto our TV screens. Unfortunately, my orgasm died in a quick minute when I learned the tragic truth. Maybe Alan can dethrone Evan Rachel Wood as the Queen Vampire and place the crown on Morgan Brittany’s head instead. Bitch needs a check!