Earlier this week, the Chicago Sun-Times claimed that Baby Jesus snipped his umbilical cord attached to Vadge and crawled out of her life forever. But the cord might still be attached, if Gatecrasher’s source witnessed what they think they witnessed in London on Monday night. The witness claimed they saw Madonna and child playing patty cake with their tongues at the premiere party for Tom Ford’s movie A Single Man.
Let the source give you a visual: “They were all over each other and were even kissing in front of everyone. They looked like they were still very much an item.”
Baby Jesus left the party early, because he has to be in his crib by midnight or Vadge will punish him by spooning him tightly. When Vadge spoons you, bones will break.
Even though Baby Jesus left, Vadge stayed to take part in a dance-off with Anthony Mackie and Jeremy Renner from The Hurt Locker. You know how I wrote above that spooning with Vadge will result in a visit to the ER? Well, the same goes for dance-offs with Vadge. When she thrusts her cooch, crotch bones split in two.
Here’s Baby Jesus sunning his “Still The Property Of Vadge” nipples in Rio on Wednesday.