You Can’t Blame A Slut For Trying

February 4, 2010 / Posted by: Michael K

Don’t act like you’ve never thought about offering to suck a cop’s dick to get out of trouble. The times I’ve been pulled over for speeding, the cop has either been a lipstick lezzie (I would try it on a butchie) or a really hot officer which means I would’ve been turned down in 2 seconds flat. So unfortunately, I’ve never gotten the chance to use that line. But 21-year-old male model Nick Snider DID! And in Arkansas of all places. Nick and I need less bad gay porn in our lives.

The Smoking Gun reports that cops were called to a house in Batesville, Arkansas after a drunk ass Nick refused to leave. When the officers showed up, Nick used the line that will either get you a punch to the mouth or handcuffs around your wrists. Nick told the cops, “I am a very famous model.” That’s all the cops needed to hear to throw him in the back of their car and shuffle him off to jail.

While on the way to jail, Nick repeatedly told Deputy Brian Luetschwager (click here for a visual) that he would “suck his dick and balls” if he let him go. Yes, the dick AND balls. Yeah, I think offering to suck the officer’s balls too was kind of overkill. You should leave something to the imagination.

At the local lock-up, Nick offered to suck the dick of anyone who would free him. Nick would’ve sucked off the booking officer, the jailer, the janitor, the sandwich maker, the ANYBODY! They all turned him down. Ain’t that a bitch! Rejection tastes worse than a smoker’s load.

The truth is, they didn’t want to get a blow job from a bitch wearing a shirt that has the word “chillaxin” on it.

Nick was charged with public intoxication, disorderly conduct and illegally attempting to influence a public servant. Nick pleaded, “I will suck your dick AND balls” to the charges. No, Nick pleaded not guilty. He bailed out and is due back in court later this month.

The line “I will suck your dick and balls” is probably what made Nick the “very famous model” he is today, so you can’t throw any blame on him for trying it use it again.

Tags: ANTM Crap, SKANKS, The Jokes Write Themselves

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