X Does Not Mark The Spot

February 3, 2010 / Posted by: Michael K

When Kellan Lutz from Twilight was announced as one of the new crotches of Calvin Klein Underwear, some source-type said that he was going to recreate Marky Mark’s no-no-slobbering campaign from the 90s. That source was obviously vomiting up hurtful lies, because this shit is not making me want to reach for the lotion, retreat to the bathroom and use my feet to keep the door closed (the lock on our bathroom door was always broken). If I look at the picture long enough, it kind of looks like he has a giant, fat, cotton vulva over his crotch. The Smurf picture below should’ve been used instead.

Below are the other pieces who thrusted their crotch in the new campaign for Calvin Klein Chonies. They are: Eggs from True Blood, Spanish tennis player Fernando Verdasco and Japanese footballer Hidetoshi Nakata.

via Marie Claire UK

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