Noah Cyrus Is Not Launching A Line Of Lingerie For Kids

Last a week, a story about prostitot extraordinaire Noah Cyrus designing a line of lingerie for kids started to make the rounds, but it reached a fever pitch today and now it’s everywhere. If the subject line “Noah Cyrus’ thongs for toddlers” lands in my inbox one more time, Chris Hansen is going to pop into my living room and ask me to have a seat even though I’m sitting. Chris only knows how to start a conversation with “have a seat.” Anyway, this is the story that made pedos percolate and parents explode:

Miley’s 9-year-old sister launching a lingerie line for kids. She’ll be teaming up with her pint-sized best friend Emily Grace to launch a children’s lingerie collection for ‘Ohh! La, La! Couture’ on Valentine’s Day.

Annie Dugourd of Oooh La La Couture (I can’t with that name) tells CNBC that Noah is not designing teddies for tykes or bras for babies. Annie went on to say, “It’s been devastating for our little company. We’re two stay-at-home moms who make tutu dresses. We would never do anything inappropriate.”

Noah’s partner in crime Emily Grace does have a line of tutu dresses with OLLC and you can click here to see it. And while it does look like something the 80s spit up after giving Cyndi Lauper cunnilingus, it’s not lingerie. It’s also not something any child should wear. Correction: It’s not something ANYBODY should wear.