Johnny Weir Will Be Fur-less At The Olympics

The crystal enchantress of the ice, Johnny Weir, isn’t shy about how he loves to drape his naked body in fur and re-enact scenes from Dr. Zhivago (at least that’s what I picture him doing). Even one of Johnny’s costumes has the pubic bush of a fox on its shoulder. This made several animal rights groups aim their paint guns at Johnny, but he wouldn’t back down. Johnny responded to them with this:

“I totally get the dirtiness of the fur industry and how terrible it is to animals. But it’s not something that’s the No. 1 priority in my life. There are humans dying everyday. There are thousands if not millions of homeless people in New York City. Look at what just happened in Haiti. I tend to focus my energy, if there is a cause, on humans. While that may be callous and bad of me, it’s my choice.

Every skater is wearing skates made out of cow. Maybe I’m wearing a cute little fox while everyone else is wearing cow, but we’re all still wearing animals.”

And when Johnny puffed his nipples at the animal rights groups, they puffed right back. Apparently, they threatened to bring the crazy to Vancouver and ruin one of his Olympic performances. So in order to avoid being the target of a red paint bukkake while on the ice, Johnny is changing the fur to the fake stuff.

Johnny slowly slipped off his fur-lined leather glove finger by finger, and slappity slapped the animal rights groups in the face with this cunty statement:

“I would like to announce that due to pressures and threats from a certain animal rights group, I will be changing the genuine fox fur on my free program costume that I will use in the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver, B.C., to white faux fur. I made this decision after several threats were sent to me about disrupting my performance in the Olympic Games and my costume designer, Stephanie Handler, was repeatedly sent messages of hate and disgust. I do not want something as silly as my costume disrupting my second Olympic experience and my chance at a medal, a dream I have had since I was a kid. I hope these activists can understand that my decision to change my costume is in no way a victory for them, but a draw. I am not changing in order to appease them, but to protect my integrity and the integrity of the Olympic Games as well as my fellow competitors.

Just weeks away from hitting my starting position on the ice in Vancouver, I have technique and training to worry about and that trumps any costume and any threat I may receive.“

Something tells me that Johnny really is going to have the last queef by wearing a white fox thong underneath his costume.