Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Smoke Monster from Lost
Last night millions upon millions of Lost nerds gladly stuck out there arm, flicked their fattest vein and shot themselves up with their favorite fix. The shakes are starting to take over this morning as they have hangover hallucinations of guitar cases, organic cotton tunics from J. Jill, diarrhea water, and Indiana Jones. Okay, maybe I’m the only one who is having visions of Indiana Jones, because I was expecting him to make an appearance during last night’s episode. But even if he did, he still wouldn’t have been the star of the night. That title goes to the misunderstood and lovable SMOKE MONSTER! Or as I like to call it, my heart whenever I’m around loud children.
I love the Smoke Monster for many reasons. One of them being that it is so damn low-budget. They could have trimmed the budget off of Sawyer’s grease bill and put a little money into making the Smoke Monster look scarier, but I’m glad they didn’t. It just looks like what comes out of the exhaust pipe of a ’79 Datsun. Or what comes out of Paris Hilton’s cooch when she queefs. Or Khloe Kardashian’s asshole when she eats too much curry. Okay, since I put it that way, it is pretty scary.