Brangelina has been keeping busy. When St. Angie isn’t practicing swallowing an entire bottle of pills whole, she has been holding top secret meetings with her hypnotic vagina to discuss how they are going to snatch away Johnny Depp from Gappy. And when Brad isn’t putting on a faux happyface for the children army, he has been playing tea party with Aniston and her stuffed animal collection. At least that is what the tabloids are saying this week.
Star Magazine is saying that St. Angie wants to reclaim her crown as the hardest-working dick snatcher in the game (sorry Sienna) by getting a piece of Johnny Depp. Angie and Johnny are about to shoot a movie together in Italy later this month, and she has been inviting herself over his L.A. house to “work on the script.” But a source says that she’s really trying to work on his wang. The source went on to say, . “She’s already spent hours there drinking red wine with Johnny. She’s intense and goes for anything and anyone she wants. She has no limits!” Angie must be planning to go in for the kill when they get to Italy, because she told Brad that he is not invited.
I don’t think Vanessa Paradis needs strap Johnny’s dick with The Club just yet. I mean, nobody can gap him like she can (I don’t know what that means either).
As for OK! Magazine and InTouch, the covers really say it all. It says that St. Angie is channeling Neely O’Hara from Valley of the Dolls and threatening Brad with some dark secret. Maybe his deep dark secret is that his goat beard is actually a glued on merkin.