Have You Ever Wanted To See An Oompa Loompa Naked?

February 2, 2010 / Posted by:

If you answered “yes” to that question then your name is probably Gene Wilder. Well Gene, whip out the Orange-Glo and lube your genitals up, because word on the internet is that a naked video of Jersey Shore’s Snooki is up for sale.

Radar says that in addition to a video, there’s also pictures of Snooki’s tangerine titties and butterscotch pudding pot making the rounds. Snooki took the pictures and video herself, but she’s not the one peddling them to the highest bidder (uh huh). Radar, who claims to have seen the pictures, says that one demure photo shows Snooki “in her bedroom, on her knees, with one hand on the ground and the other holding the rail of the bed frame. She is looking at the camera with her head tilted slightly.” That sounds like some Alley Cat on a Hot Tin Roof shit.

Isn’t this absolutely the shock of all shocks? Snooki is so refined and ladylike on the show. I mean, she puts her hand over her vagina before she queefs.

But seriously, even though we’ve never seen Snooks fully nekkid ass nekkid, I still feel like I’ve seen everything but her damn uterus. It’s like if I got an e-mail with the subject: Kirstie Alley Sloshing. My dead-wrong imagination has already painted that horrific picture in my head, so there’s no need for me to open it. I already know how it’s going to make me feel (SPOILER ALERT: like this).

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