265-year-old Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones has checked his old ass into a rehab clinic for the 8th time. The Daily Mail says that Ronnie’s daughter and Mick Jagger have been begging him for months to put down the bottle, break the coke mirror and dry up in the tank. Ronnie has finally given in.
Ronnie recently broke up with his 20-year-old Russian girlfriend after he allegedly whooped her ass. Shortly after their relationship ended, she started telling the media about how he’s an evil goblin king who loves to eat mounds of cocaine with his nose.
A friend of Ronnie’s said, “Ronnie has been in a bad state of mind since his split with Katia (the Russian chick). They were in a terrible relationship, but since their break-up he has not been himself. He has been lonely and drinking and has tried to throw himself into new romances. Jo and the entire family are just happy that he is seeking help again.”
Hopefully, Ronnie will clean up this time, because nobody likes an old coked up drunk. Actually, that’s not true. I like an old coked up drunk. They’re funny and entertaining. But don’t tell Ronnie that. Just tell him to do it for his long-lost mom Madam Mim!