Kelis galloped into the Data Awards in Los Angeles last night looking like something Mimi’s brain might burp up during a champagne-fueled daydream. What do we focus on? Do we focus on the Jane Child nostril-to-earlobe chains? The unicorn of liberty crown? The feather lashes? The mutant goat hooves? The old lady braid? NO! Direct your eyes to Kelis’ suffocating vagina! The only kind of rubber a vagina wants to eat is a condom. Why does Kelis have to do her chocha like that?
When she finally freed her snatch from the wall of latex later on in the night, it probably needed mouth-to-mouth. Pussy abuse is not the look.
And Kelis also needs less internet in her life, because she’s starting to get fashion tips from YouTube:
However, I will give it up for the intergalactic being from a disco ball far far away posing with Kelis below.