Keebler cookies will not taste as sweet today thanks to this sad picture of the sad tiny nugget (copyright: Chelsea Handler) known as Gary Coleman leaving the jail house in a wheelchair. Gary was arrested this past weekend and charged with domestic abuse. Gary was forced to sit in a jail cell for a while, because he couldn’t afford to pay the $1,725 bail. But someone took pity on Gary and finally bailed him out. It wasn’t Pearl the maid.
A Utah business man who goes by the named of Jarrod Clarke tells KSL.com that he bailed Gary out of jail, because he’s always been a fan. Gary’s RED RUM mug shot stroked at Jarrod’s soul, so he felt that he should help him out. Jarrod said, “To see that he was sitting in there — and he’d been there for 27 hours — and bail was only $1,700, I thought somebody probably ought to do something.” Gary’s wife called Jarrod from her stable to thank him.
HOWEVER, the plot thins! The producers of Gary’s upcoming straight-to-nothing movie Midgets vs. Mascots claim they are the ones who put the cash up for his bail. They told E! that they agreed to bail Gary out as long as he lets them use footage his stunt dick in the movie, “The producers simply agreed to bail out Mr. Coleman as an olive branch and to avoid any potential litigation.”
Speaking of olive branches, click here if you haven’t yet seen the peen the producers are trying to pass as Gary’s. A fun sized Snickers bar would’ve been more realistic.
If that was really Gary’s dick, Gay Al Reynolds would’ve used some of his Lip Glass (it keeps his no-no moist) money to bail the leprechaun out himself!
(Image: Pacific Coast News)