How KFed Became KWellFed

January 27, 2010 / Posted by:

When KFed just couldn’t beat mission 28 on Grand Theft Auto 4 (I feel your pain, KFed), it gave him the sads in a major way which caused him to fill his mouth hole with anything and everything. KFed apologizes to the parents of the pets and toddlers he accidentally devoured in one of his feeding frenzies.

In a new interview with Access Hollywood (via People), KFed says he fell into a deep depression after his divorce from Our Lady of Cheetos. Like many, KFed dealt with the serious sads by wiping out every buffet in town. How many times do you think KFed heard the words, “There’s no more clean plates for you, Mr. Kfed.”

Anyway, KFed explains, “Once you get depressed, you don’t really feel like doing anything. You’re kind of discouraged about yourself and then the weight gain too, or that makes me more depressed. … I mean, it’s a combination of all of those things. Everybody knows what happened with me and Brit. I’m not going to say that’s the total cause of it but, I mean, just not being happy with myself was probably the main part of my depression.”

The truth is I think his depression was triggered by listening to PopoZão without being under the influence of anything on the United States Controlled Substances Schedule. That will do it.

But thanks to Celebrity Fit Club, KFed has lost the chunk and now he’s ready to tackle the world again by doing important stuff like finally beating mission 28 on GTA4.

KFed also said that he’s happy that Brit Brit is back to touring again, “I’m really happy for her. I’m very happy for her.

Translation: KFed is farting happy that Brit tamed the crazy, so she can go back to putting Twinkies on his table. Or should I say, Twinkie Bites.

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