Charlie Sheen’s Wife Might Be In Rehab

One month after her (alleged) coke-fueled fight with Charlie Sheen, Brooke Mueller has checked into a rehab facility in North Carolina to dry up and fix her life. Entertainment Tonight is saying that Brooke and her mother arrived in North Carolina yesterday.

Last week, Brooke was hospitalized in Los Angeles for pneumonia. Sources tell TMZ that Brooke does have pneumonia, but her addiction to the bad shit fucked with her immune system making it hard for her to kick the infection. A different source (ALL THESE SOURCES) tells People that Brooke still has fluid her lungs, and the doctors told her to get some rest if she wants to get better.

And just when I was about to hit publish on this bitch, I read that Brooke’s lawyer is swearing on her favorite cook spoon that she is not in rehab. He said that Brooke is in North Carolina, but is at a convalescent facility to recuperate from her pneumonia. He made it crystal meth clear that she is not in rehab.

Why is this lawyer shoving baking soda in our nostrils and telling us it’s cocaine? Who in the hell would go all the way from California to North Carolina to recuperate from pneumonia. Something in the pipe ain’t smoky (just pretend that made sense). Unless, Charlie Sheen sent Brooke all the way to North Carolina so he can throw a prostitution whore party without her finding out.