To The Goat Cave!

January 26, 2010 / Posted by:

The Church of Brangie still hasn’t released a black dove into the sky signaling the official end of their religion, but the Daily Mail is still standing by the claim that Billy Goat Brad is now single. And they have more proof! According to them, Brad bought a $1.2 million 2-bedroom bachelor pad in the Hollywood Hills that comes complete with a cave! From one jagged orifice to another!

The source explained it all, “The house oozes character. Brad has had his eye on it for some time but he decided now was the right time to buy because he wanted a place to call his own. He needs somewhere quiet that doesn’t have memories of Angie and where he can be alone and think about what he does next.”

Even if they haven’t broken up yet, Billy Goat Brad probably bought the cave as a safe house for when he does send the world into chaos by announcing the end of Brangelina. When that day does arrive, every crazed Brangaloonie will throw themselves from the mountain tops. And Brad does not want to go out like that. Come to think of it, I don’t think any of us want the last thing we see to be a crazed mouth foamer in an adult-sized “Adopt Me Brangelina” onesie. We should all get a cave.

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