Gold Digger vs. Gold Digger

January 25, 2010 / Posted by:

Dennis Hopper filed for divorce from his wife of 13 years, Victoria Hopper, a couple of weeks ago, even though he is reportedly on his deathbed. One of Dennis’ friends said that he was only divorcing his wife to keep her from getting a large chunk of his money when he passes away. Victoria filed her own legal papers today, requesting custody of their 6-year-old daughter Galen (Fun fact: Galen was one of my nicknames in junior high).

In papers obtained by the Daily Beast, Victoria says she wants spousal and child support. Victoria also thinks that the court should name her and Galen the equal beneficiaries of Dennis’ $1 million life insurance policy. Victoria explains, “Based on Petitioner’s statements to me that he will leave me destitute and because I do not have a steady or significant source of income, I fear I will be unable to financially provide for our six year old daughter and myself.” But Victoria didn’t stop there!

Victoria says that Dennis, who is currently battling prostate cancer, regularly smokes medical marijuana in front of their daughter. That actually is a form of HUMAN ABUSE, because you shouldn’t smoke a joint in front of a person without sharing!

The Uma Thurman/Toni Collette hybrid claims that Dennis has threatened to kill her ass if she leaves him, and that he keeps loaded guns in the house. AND THERE’S MORE!

According to Victoria, Dennis doesn’t want to divorce her. Victoria believes that his 47-year-old gold digging daughter is making Dennis go through with the divorce, so she can get a bigger cut of his fortune when he dies.

Who knew the end of a marriage could be like a 4-episode story arch on Dynasty? SIGN ME UP! The only way this could get more dramatic is if Galen runs away to marry the Prince of Moldavia. And P.S. – The King of Moldavia’s name is Galen. This is all connected somehow.

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