Dick Grabbing Dicks

Andy Dick was escorted to the nearest jail cell in Huntington, West Virginia yesterday morning after he was accused of molesting someone at a bar. Since Tricky Dicky has a history of illegally fondling lady titties, I figured he had groped another pair of breasts. But EW.com says that Dicky the Molester didn’t put his hands on a woman. No, Andy is accused of grabbing the crotch of a male bouncer and forcibly kissing another dude at the bar.

Jonathan Kraft, the guy Andy tried to tongue fuck in the mouth, tells TMZ that he’s not going to press charges. Jonathan said that when Andy gave him mouth-to-mouth, he simply swatted him off by saying, “I’m not down with that.” Jonathan went on to say that he felt the charges were dumb and that Andy is “nationally known as a weird guy.” Everyone else at the bar said Andy was really out of it, but I think that goes without saying.

Andy was released on $60,000 bail yesterday. On February 2nd, Andy will have to show up in court to answer to the two felony counts of sexual abuse.

The thing is, Andy continues to let his hands wander into restricted areas over and over again. Bitch is not learning his lesson. Someone needs to take him back to kindergarten so the teacher can hand him a saltine with peanut butter on it and explain to him that when he gets the urge to grope, he needs to stick his hands up his own ass before it’s too late.

Andy either needs to quit riding on the bad shit express, or he needs to put on a straitjacket when he ventures out in public.