The Crackie Game

January 22, 2010 / Posted by:

YES! Finally some real news to make your adam’s apple twitch! This morning, The Sun published an ESCANDALO story about Blaaaaaaaaaaake’s affair with a 17-year-old Amy Wino trans-alike. The ladyboy in question, Mia McHugh, tells The Sun about how she licked on Blaaaake’s ass scabs for a few months after he found out she was a pre-op transsexual.

The two first met on Facebook (of course) last October, and the next day Mia hung out with Blaaake at a pub in Shoreditch. After they made out on the pool table in between Blaaaake’s coke parties for one in the bathroom, they went to a local Travelodge to consummate their love.

Amy Wienerhouse talked about the first time Blaaake found out she has a peen instead of a poon, “He told me, ‘You remind me of my Amy. You’re so beautiful.’ I was lying there and his hands were all over me. Then he suddenly realised. He stopped, looked at me, and said, ‘Are you a transsexual’? I told him yes and he just smiled.He kept asking me questions about it – he was fascinated with my Adam’s apple – and I was besotted with him.

Over the course of about six weeks, Blaaake would break his probation by traveling to London from Sheffield to spend the night doing sex stuff with Mia. Blaaaake even told Wino about his relationship with Mia. This prompted Wino to call Mia, and of course The Sun published the transcript of that “taped conversation.” Wino reportedly told the trans version of herself, “I don’t care what Blake does. I want to thank you. I mean it, thank you, because I haven’t been around.You’re a beautiful girl. But Blake and I are best friends – we’re the same person. He loves someone else and there is only one me.”

The last time Mia saw Blaaaake, he was with his new fiancee Sarah Aspin (I fucking can’t keep track). Blaaake told her to leave him alone. Mia sadly added, “We had a special relationship for months, but it turned sour when I wanted a full commitment. I realize now he won’t be happy till he and Amy are married again.”

Mia, who already has titty implants like Wino, will undergo a full sex change in January. And while she’s getting her peen snipped, Blaaaake might be back in jail for breaking his probation.

This story probably already left you full, so I only have one more thing to add. When I first read the headline, “Blake Fielder-Civil secret relationship with a transsexual Amy Winehouse impersonator,” I immediately thought to myself: WHY, LA PEQUENA AMY WINO, WHY???!

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