Jason Momoa Is Conan

Unfortunately, Jason Momoa (of North Shore, Stargate Atlantis and Baywatch Hawaii) is not going to lose 100 pounds, bleach his skin, shave his head and slap on a Howdy Doody wig to play Conan O’Brien. I wish. No, Jason has been cast as the OTHER Conan.

Deadline Hollywood says that Lisa Bonet’s piece has inherited Arnold Schwarzenegger’s fur loincloth and will wave his sword around as the title role in the remake of Conan the Barbarian. They will start shooting Conan this March in Bulgaria. Bulgaria will also temporarily rename their country BULGE-ARIA while Jason is there.

Apparently, Jason beat out Kellan Lutz and Jared Padalecki. Latino Review is also hearing that Mickey Rourke is in talks to play The Witch. No, he’s been offered the role of Conan’s papa je’e. No word yet on who will play that hot bitch Valeria, but the producers should be calling the pay phone near Sandahl Bergman’s rented room right now. There is no other Valeria!

Seriously, those bitches better not cast some young ho like Megan Fox or Jessica Biel. Besides, the latter would make a better Conan than a Valeria.

And Jason better not get too comfortable, because there’s a good chance Jay Leno will replace him in the sequel.