Becks Gets Molested On TV

January 21, 2010 / Posted by:

Italian TV presenter Elena Di Cioccio, who is kind of giving me SamRo fevah, wanted to find out if Becks’ bulge of wonder in his Armani ads is 100% natural, so she decided to check for herself. Elena slipped on a pair of rubber gloves and waited outside of his hotel until he came out. While Becks was busy talking to the press, Elena gave him a “cough and drop” test (without the cough).

After Elena molested Becks’ business, he backed away, threw hot daggers at her face with his eyes, and his security jumped in. It wasn’t not funny to Becks, but Elena kept the joke going. She said to the cameras, “I touched it but it’s small. David you have conned us all. What did you use cotton wool? It’s all a trick.”

The stunt aired on the comedy show Le Iene. A source close to the show tells Metro that they were just having a laugh, “It was just a joke and we hope that Beckham took it in the spirit it was meant.”

Yes, because if a dude grabbed Posh’ vagina without getting the thumbs up from her first, he’d be using that same hand to massage Pooki’s prostate in the clink. But when a lady does it to Becks, it’s a punchline!

Don’t get me wrong, if Becks’ balls were that close to me, I’d probably have to bite my own fingers off to stay away, but I listened to my kindergarten teacher when she told me to keep my shit to myself. Although, I obviously didn’t listen to her when she told me to stop farting in my hand and smelling it (my John Mayer-ism of the day).

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