The Photoshop Awards: OctoMom On Star Magazine

January 20, 2010 / Posted by:

Star Magazine doesn’t want you to fully digest food or feel any life in your genitals today, so they have put OctoMom on their cover with the words “My New Bikini Body.” Sperm counts will drop!

I also have a feeling that supermarket checkout lines will be a ghost town this week, because when hos get a good look at this, they will abandon their shopping cart full of food and go back to bed! I think I’d rather see Glenn Beck’s new bikini body (which looks something like this) than OctoCrazy’s. NOT TODAY. NOT EVER.

In the issue, Octo claims that a back alley surgeon’s rusty knife didn’t help her lose the baby weight. Octo says it was equal parts exercise, diet and determination, “I wanted to prove to myself that I can do it on my own, naturally. My friends call me Rubber Band because I always snapped back so quickly after my other kids!”

No, they call her rubber band, because her uterus is being held together with one. And this loon didn’t lose the weight with diet and exercise. Bitch’s fat cells can’t even stand to be near her, so they quietly slipped out the back door. Octo’s uterus tried to be slick and go with them, but she has a tracking system on that bitch. It’s not going anywhere.

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