Maleficent As Seen Through The Eyes Of Tim Burton

January 19, 2010 / Posted by:

Dark Shadows was supposed to be Tim Burton’s next project after Alice in Wonderland, but apparently he might stuff it in his cleavage for another day.

AICN (via Coming Soon) is hearing that instead of Dark Shadows, Tim might spread himself all over a live-action version of Sleeping Beauty. However, Tim wants to tell the story through the eyes of Maleficent, the hot bitch who gets that dumb ho Aurora to prick her finger on a spindle.

All the cunts of the world (Heather Mills, please stand up) should applaud this, because it’s a victory any time one of our own gets the spotlight.

And since Helena Bonham Carter is fucking the director, I’ll bet the Fry Daddy I got for Christmas (MY PRIDE AND JOY) on her getting the title role. But personally, I think Tim Burton should cast his other leading lady: Johnny Depp. Maleficent as a pre-op transsexual does make all kinds of sense. Bitch wore all that damn fabric over her body to hide her tuck. Maleficent could be Johnny Depp’s Crying Game!

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >