At the Kustendorf Film Festival in Belgrade, Serbia last night, director Emir Kusturica revealed a statue of Johnny Depp keeping it sexy while leaning against a telephone pole. Yes, that is supposed to be a statue of Johnny Depp. It looks more like a parched Katherine Moennig dressed as a young Skeet Ulrich at a Scream costume party. Johnny might agree. But since Johnny’s a polite gentlemen, he made sure to swallow the vomit of laughs that tried to pour out of his mouth.
I’m still going to raise my mug of coffee to Serbia this morning, because think of all the drunk tourists and locals this statue is going to attract. Someone needs to create a Tumblr page devoted to showcasing all the pictures of boozed up skanks licking on this statue. Belgrade never has to worry about hiring someone to clean up the pigeon shit. That statue is going to get more tongue than Tommy Girl’s ass lips at a Scientology pot luck.
Any inanimate object that attracts such acts of sluttery always gets my seal of approval.