A Lindsay Lohan Sex Tape Might Hit The Internet Soon

Humanitarian and leggings mogul Lindsay Lohan might follow up her documentary on child trafficking in India with a 47-second long video of her doing sex shit with a male waiter. After a discovering a new “friend” on the forehead of his peen, the waiter probably regretted accepting that tip.

The Mirror claims that the waiter tried to recoup the money he spent on Valtrex pills by selling the video to Hustler. But Hustler said “no thank you,” because they didn’t want to deal with copyright issues. The waiter now plans to release the grossness on an off-shore porn site.

A source claims that HoHan got a wind of this shit and is freaking out about it. The source added, “This video file is dynamite. It is pretty seedy and shows Lindsay engaged in a particular sex act which, obviously, should remain behind closed doors. Lindsay was desperate to start 2010 off on a good footing and this is the very last thing she needs. If and when it is released on the internet there is absolutely nothing she or her lawyers can do about it. She is devastated – particularly as she is working hard on cleaning up her act. Lindsay has just made a serious documentary on child poverty in India for the BBC, she is terrified this will be put in jeopardy now. It is fair to say that Lindsay has had a pretty torrid past 24 hours.”

A couple of years ago, a fake clip of HoHan allegedly sucking off Calum Best made the rounds. It proved to be a fake. There’s a chance that The Mirror is regurgitating that story with a different peen. To be fair to them, I don’t think anyone ever fully digested that fake clip.

But if it’s a new clip, nobody should be surprised. If you look behind your fridge, you will most likely find a HoHan sex tape there. If you check your dirty maxi-pad, there’s probably a HoHan sex tape there too. They are everywhere!

And here’s HoHan at the launch party for Vida, a new topical ointment for herp warts. No, Vida is a “luxurious” new fuck toy. Seriously.