Hugh Hefner And His Twin Hos Broke Up

Since screaming toddlers can test an old man’s nerve for only so long, Hugh Hefner has moved his twin girlfriends, Kristina and Karissa, out of the Playboy mansion and into a nearby nursery. Actually, Hef tells E!’s Marc Malkin that the decision was mutual to demote KK from his main colostomy bag changers to lawn decorations.

Hef took a hit of oxygen and explained why they are living in the Playmate house now, “They’ve been hanging out with a lot of the other Playmates, and they see these girls traveling across the country to do promotion. They would like to be doing that, too. They will now be friends, but they won’t be defined as the girlfriends.”

But don’t you worry, Hef’s other girlfriend Crystal is staying by his side so there will be someone to mush his Fosamax pill into a bowl of pureed sweet potatoes and to tell him what Charlie Rose is saying when his hearing aid goes out.