The Bachelor: Am I Missing Something Here?

January 12, 2010 / Posted by:

On last night’s OMGWTFSHOCKINGFIRSTTIMEFOREVERYTHING (their words) episode of The Bachelor, Rozlyn Papa, the 28-year-old make-up artist and single mother, was shown the exit after she allegedly had an “inappropriate relationship” with a male producer.

The show’s host Chris Harrison, who talks slower than Forrest Gump on ludes, informed Rozlyn that the producer was fired. Rozlyn made me choke on an immunity rose (I eat one during every episode) when she said that she didn’t think her personal life was anybody’s business. After Chris Harrison finished swallowing the laugh that wanted to jump out of his mouth, he told Rozyn that she would also have to leave the house because Bachelor Jake is serious about finding a wife. And that’s when I really choked on my immunity rose.

The show’s episode never addressed what exactly Rozlyn and this dude producer did. Rozlyn swears to Entertainment Tonight that she never got sexy with the producer and they were just good friends. But Chris Harrison says that Roz and the producer did swap bodily fluids.

Okay, let’s say Roz and the producer 69ed in the middle of the rose ceremony room. Who fucking cares? The Bachelor is dating more than one bitch at the same time, so why can’t the girls? Are they saying that Bachelor Jake is the only ho who gets to suck on more than one tongue? Are the girls supposed to keep their vaginas and tongues to themselves while waiting for Jake to scoop them up? They should change the title of that show to THE HAREM.

But the most upsetting part was how Rozlyn looked when they gave her the ax. They should’ve given her some kind of notice, so she could’ve brought the glamour for the dramatic occasion. Bitch needed big hair, big cleavage and big heels! Roz looked like Nomi Malone in a bootleg Versayce, when she should’ve looked like a Cristal Connors.

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