John Rich’s Wife Gave Birth To A White Rapper

John Rich, one half of the country duo Big & Rich, and his wife welcomed a baby boy on Sunday in Nashville. And they welcomed the poor kid by naming him CASH RICH. That’s no fucking welcome. John has been keeping that name in his pocket for years. IN THIS ECONOMY, that name sounds a little cocky. Layaway Plan, Rent-To-Own or Credit Rich would’ve been more appropriate.

I’m a little surprised that John didn’t go all the way by naming his son Ca$h Money Rich. I’m sure John entertained the idea, but that Ke$ha urchin probably threatened to barf in his closet or brush his teeth with a bottle of Jack if he went through with it.

So based on his name, Cash Rich is either going to be a used car salesman or a trailer park pimp. Or he can team up with Matthew McConaughey’s nephew Miller Lyte and form the country’s premiere white rapping duo (who only plays county fair pre-parties and Spears family reunions). Bubba Sparxxx is on line one.

via People