A man in Britain was just trying to share a beautiful intimate moment with his girlfriend when he got a little too excited by her sexual wiles and his dick got stuck in her orifice. Oh, and I should mention that his girlfriend was a fucking steel pipe. PAGING EDWARD SMITH! Here’s your newest wingman to hit the used car dealerships with you.
The Sun reports that when a team of firefighters arrived, they all died from choking to death on their own laughs. But then a more serious crew came to the man’s rescue, they brought a metal grinder out and began to cut the pipe off his peen. You would think that his peen would’ve went limp just from hearing the metal grinder’s motor, but it didn’t. A firefighter with a steady hand hand spent 30-minutes carefully cutting off the pipe. Fortunately for the pipefucker, the firefighter did not Lorena Bobbit him. His peen might have the sads for a few days from being publicly humiliated, but besides that it is doing fine.
A rep for Hampshire’s Fire and Rescue Service said, “It was a very delicate operation that required a very steady hand and the crew was worried about things getting too hot during the cutting. It’s certainly an unusual call-out and I’m sure the man won’t be getting into that situation again.”
The man didn’t say how he got his dick stuck in a pipe, but it’s pretty obvious what happened. The dude was about to have sex with Parasite Hilton, and figured the best way to protect himself was to wrap his peen in steel. Stavros Niarchos has a permanently rusty dick from doing this so often.