Snooki Is December’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

January 7, 2010 / Posted by:

2009’s final Hot Slut of the Month has been crowned with a tiara made out of pickles and sashed with a Valtrex-covered ribbon! Jersey Shore’s Snookipuss flipped away with 59% of your votes and not even Banana Jesus (who’s probably Milkshake Jesus by now) could stop her. Snooki will now sword fight the other Hot Sluts of the Month for the coveted title of Hot Slut of 2009! Yes, I know that title is as coveted as a paper cut on your asshole, but let’s play pretend this one time. It’s fun.

The Hot Slut of the Year competition will start on Monday. I figured we should give our beauty queens the weekend to prepare by sitting in a sauna until they turn into a towel.

And since we’re on the topic of Jersey Shore, here’s what you get when you mix an MTV Internet, Photoshop, too much time and a bag of coke residue found at the bottom of a desk drawer. MTV transformed the Jersey Shore guidos and guidettes into today’s teen stars. It’s like the Garbage Pail Kids as seen through the eyes of a Vh1 executive.

They are: Justin Bieber as The Situation, Nick Jonas as Pauly D, Lady CaCa as JWoww, RPattz as Ronnie and Taylor Swift as Snooki.

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