America’s Got Talent Is Now Hoff-Less

In news that will hit you in the gut with a powerful fist of “we all saw this coming,“ The Hoff has been fired from America’s Got Talent because the producers were sick of him stealing Purell from everyone’s dressing room to use as a mixer. Wait. Did I say “fired“? Well, give me a Lohan kick to the pussy, because I really meant to say that The Hoff left on his own accord. Yes, we’re going with that one. Let’s hear it from The Hoff:

“I am proud that I was part of making America’s Got Talent the No. 1 rated show for the past four summers. It’s been a rewarding experience and now I’m thrilled to be able to follow my dream to do my own TV show, which will be announced very shortly. I want to thank my friend, (executive producer) Simon Cowell, and everyone at NBC and Fremantle for the opportunity for four great years.”

Since The Hoff still believes he’s only hooked on a feeling, and not hooked on the bottle, I doubt his next TV project will involve Dr. Drew or Ken Seeley. Maybe he’s going to host America’s Next Top Cheeseburger for the Food Network?

In other news, Paula Abdul was spotted on her hands and knees in front of Simon Cowell’s front gates. I wonder what that’s about. <---- Not a question.