This Wedding Is Going To Be A Mess

January 5, 2010 / Posted by:

Evan Rachel Wood, 22, and Marilyn Manson, 41, barely got back together last month, and The Mirror is saying they already engaged to be married. A source says that at one of Marilyn’s shows in Paris recently, he asked Evan to be his wife. Evan, who was probably high from constantly inhaling the Wite-Out he uses on his face, said “Yes.”

Nothing good can come of this. Let me rewind…. the only good thing that can come of this is the wedding. That will be like an Emo kid’s Halloween-themed MySpace page come to life. Think Platinum Weddings: The Hot Topic Edition.

Instead of releasing doves into the sky, Marilyn will bite a dove’s head off Ozzy-style and spit it at the mother of the bride. Instead of kissing the bride, Marilyn will cut the bride and drink her blood. Instead of Evan carrying a bouquet of fresh roses, she will carry a bouquet of dead roses and baby doll heads. Instead of riding off in a horse-drawn carriage, they will ride off in a coffin on wheels. And does anyone know if Forest Lawn hosts weddings?

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