January 1, 2010 / Posted by:

JLo wanted to be extra sparkly for her New Year’s Eve performance in NYC last night, so she slipped on an Edward Cullen sparklesuit. Unfortunately, this display of sadness was anything but sparkly. That shit made her nalgas look like two partially deflated whoopee cushions, and her crotch was so depressed that it couldn’t even muster up an appetite. If you’re going to wear a catsuit at least make sure your camel toe is at the top of its game. Tis a fucking pity.

And when it comes to the “Jesus on a cross” pose, Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs wins every single time. JLo tried to out-pose him, but lost miserably. Thanks for playing.

Click here for the NSFWish version of the Buffalo Bill portrait. Warning: It will give you a fever.

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