Jersey Shore’s Snookikins, the gorgeous dingle John Waters farted up one night after a manicotti dinner, has a way with words the same way she has a way with pickles. The Pickle Whisperer gave an eloquent statement when asked how she feels about Domino’s and Unico (an Italian American organization) hating on her show. Snooki said, “Fuck you! If you don’t want to watch, don’t watch. Just shut the hell up! I’m serious…Fuck you!” And she is serious. If Domino’s doesn’t stop it, Snooki will mount one of their pizza slices and fuck the pepperoni off it. Shit, it’s orange and greasy enough.
Domino’s and Unico both issued hilarious statements in response to Snooki. First up is Domino’s:
“Our first response was, ‘What a classy young lady—her parents must be so proud. There’s no need to get into a war with this young girl, because ticktock, her 15 minutes are almost up.”
And now let’s shine a light on Unico’s corner:
“She is not an embarrassment to Italian Americans — she is actually an embarrassment to the entire human race!!!!”
The last time I ordered Domino’s, they said they would knock on my door in 30 minutes. It took them an hour, so if we’re going by Domino’s clock that means Snooki will be around for at least another 2 hours. And I already felt in a tingle in my soul for Snooki, but after reading Unico’s statement, I want to adopt her midget ass. Embarrassments to the human race need to stick together!
(Image via ONTD)