Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 30, 2009 / Posted by:

Now your dog really can be man’s best friend with the Bark4Beer collar, a dog collar and a beer opener in one! If you love dog slobber, bits of Puppy Chow and fleas (it’s extra protein!) in your yeasty beverage, then this is the shit that’ll make you pucker!

Two California geniuses came up with the idea one day when they were looking all around for a beer opener, “We had just a whole bucket of beers, Coronas. I remember a couple dogs and no openers and we said, ‘I think that’s a good idea. We should try that! You call your dog over…you open it up, you put it back on (the dog’s collar) and that’s it. Why wouldn’t you want this? It’s basically the four-legged bottle opener for the party animal, I mean it’s perfect. what more could you ask for?”

You would think that hanging a bottle opener around your dog’s neck would take 2 seconds to complete (maybe 5 after a few beers), but the inventors of the Bark4Beer took 6 years to come up with the perfect retractable design. The orders are pouring in, and the dudes are already trying to think up other inventions. OH SHIT! Hopefully, the twin second coming of Benjamin Franklin comes up with a simple way for my dog to light a joint with his farts.

But seriously, this is a genius invention and everything, but they really should have worked on coming up with a simple way to clone and mass produce my Uncle Jorge instead. That dude opens beers like it’s his career! That man can open a Corona with a dog’s ass, a remote control, a window sill, a long acrylic nail, a slightly crusty tampon (still in the vag)….ANYTHING! Shit, I think I witnessed him opening a Corona on a strong gust of wind before.

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