It’s A Stunt, So Says Hailey Glassman

December 28, 2009 / Posted by:

Jon Grosselin’s douche cave was ransacked on Saturday, and he believes that his ex-girlfriend Hailey Glassman had everything to do with it! The Ed Hardy Slasher left behind a note and signed it with Hailey Glassman’s name. This is why I’m not sure if she had anything to do with it. Would that bitch be THAT stupid to sign the note with her own name? Okay, okay, I hear all of you screaming “YES” in my ear. Meth Brows would be that dumb, but I still think this was a stunt orchestrated by the douche master himself. And Meth Brows’ lawyer agrees.

Hailey’s lawyer told Radar, “It appears to be a huge publicity stunt. The police investigation is still ongoing and we are sure the investigation will reveal that someone is trying to frame Hailey. There are no charges against Hailey. I don’t think they are even considering her as a suspect in a crime. It appears that somebody, and I don’t know who that might be, or what their motive might be, is framing her. The detectives are still working on it.

But Jon’s lawyers seem to think that Hailey’s meth face will soon be covered by a fat crotch belonging to her cell mate in prison. Jon’s lawyer told Radar, “Hailey Glassman is going to jail. It’s a simple as that. The building security tape will not lie and the evidence will speak for itself.

The evidence will speak for itself?! Who the hell does Jon’s lawyer think he is? Wadsworth from Clue? Personally, I think the only real suspect in this case goes by the name of Karma. And not Karma Chameleon, the drag queen from Orlando who tried to steal my fuck partner right in front of me.

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