Ivana Trump Is A Hero To Us All

December 27, 2009 / Posted by:

How many times have you been on a plane where someone’s brat child fucks with your soul by screaming at the top of their lungs while running through the aisles like a hyena on meth? This is exactly why all planes should have open bars and pharmacies that don’t require a prescription. If airlines passed out Valium instead of peanuts, Ivana Trump might not have been escorted off of a plane for launching a flurry of fuck words at screaming children and the flight attendants.

The Orlando Sentinel reports that Ivana Trump, who was seated in first class, went off at some children for running through the aisles while they were waiting to depart from Palm Beach, FL. A flight attendant tried to fix the situation by offering Ivana a different seat and some headphones. Ivana refused and became even more cunty. Ivana called the children “little fuckers” and told everyone around her to “fuck off.” The Delta plane, which was bound for NYC, was forced to return to the terminal.

When they got to the terminal, a few deputies boarded the plane and asked Cruella de Trump to get off. After Ivana gifted the deputies with a few more Dlisted-approved words, they escorted her off. Ivana was not arrested and she won’t be charged for her acts of cuntery.

What I want to know is why were the children running around the plane if they were about to take off? On every flight I’ve been on the flight attendants practically tie your ass into your seat Joan Crawford-style when you’re taxing to the runway. And those little devils were allowed to party on down in the aisles? Jail their parents! Seriously, where the hell was Officer Dustin Bradshaw and his taser gun when Ivana really needed him?

Although, to be fair to the children, they were probably only screaming and running through the aisles because they got a good look at Ivana’s face.

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