My abuelita is going to track the crazy down who tackled Pope Eggs Benedict last night before midnight mass, and choke that trick out with her favorite plastic rosary (which she bought at the border in Tijuana).
Apparently, the loontardian who took the Pope down and sent a French Cardinal to the hospital has done this mess before. Someone in my family (spoiler alert: me) joked that if she wanted to get the Pope’s attention she should’ve dressed like an altar boy. When my abuelita is done choking the crazy out, she’s going to beat the bitch who said that (don’t tell her) with one of her Grinch slippers.
Better yet, that leaping lizard lady should’ve pretended to be a Prada salesperson to get a little love from the Pope. We all know how he loves a little fanciness on his feet.
Oh, and Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it. And Happy National Pumpkin Pie Day to those who don’t celebrate Baby Jesus’ birthday!