Hot Slut Of The Day!
Angela Sims-Quinty of Cypress, Texas
This is a beautiful and inspirational love story about a woman’s unconditional devotion to her one true soulmate: a hamburger from Krystal. It will tug at your heart strings like a cardiac arrest.
When Angela moved to Houston from Memphis, the one thing she missed the most was the greasy orgasm in a patty known as a Krystal hamburger. Then a couple of years ago, Angela was driving along the highway when she saw it. SHE SAW IT! A bright shiny new Krystal’s! The angels screamed (or maybe that was her arteries weeping). If you can’t relate, then think about this. What if you were driving along the freeway and you came across a tower of dildos, or a waterfall of vodka, or a gigantic drive-thru bong. Yes, Angela’s Jerusalem is a Krystal’s.
Angela had this to say about the day her life changed completely, “I started crying. Really, literally crying. You can ask my husband. He was my fiancé then, and we were driving so I could try on my wedding dress. Finding that Krystal’s was total serendipity. We stopped and ate a bunch of burgers. They were exactly as I remembered them. Now my husband is a convert, too. We make the 30-mile round trip a few times a month to eat Krystal’s.”
After Angela devoured Krystal’s entire stock, had a heart attack and returned home from the hospital, she wrote Krystal’s home office a love letter.
The home office was so moved by Angela’s letter that they decided to induct her into the Krystal Lovers Hall of Fame (aka Hillbilly Heaven)! On January 8, Angela and 40 of her friends will have a party at the Krystal’s in Houston where a burger box featuring her face on it will be revealed! And for the next 30 days after that, Angela’s precious face and story will be on every burger box at every single Krystal’s.
Angela already gave her acceptance speech, “I’d like to thank my husband, Daniel, my daughter Shelby and son Killian for supporting my Krystal’s addiction. I couldn’t have done it without them.”
And here I was thinking that there was no way in animal-style hell that I would every fulfill my dream of having my ass cheeks on every In ‘N Out wrapper from here to Phoenix. I’ve got some writing to do!