As I was downloading these pictures of Sienna Miller in Barbados, my internet and cable TV both packed up their shit and left me at the same time. THAT SLUT SIENNA MILLER! I was rooting for her ass until she did me wrong by using her bull dozer vagina to wreck the happy home I share with Time Warner! Bitch stole my main man right out from under me! That is a low blow, Sienna. Which is probably what she did to get Time Warner to leave me since I don’t do that shit with him (he’s been around).
Anyway, Time Warner says they are “working on it,” but you know that dance. They are probably eating a five-course breakfast at the local diner while watching a bootleg copy of Avatar on their portable DVD player. In the meantime, I’ve put a Ethernet cable up my dog’s culo and he’s sitting on the roof with a wire hanger attached to his head. So…my connection is a little Jessica Simpson-ish right now.
And I’ll also be checking out early, because I’m flying back to the land of Double Doubles and road rage for the holidays. I know, I know. You can file an official complaint with my weekday supervisor Spaghetti Cat.