Merry Christmas, Balloon Boy’s Parents Are Going To Jail!

December 23, 2009 / Posted by:

The dumbass duo known as Richard and Mayumi Heene were both sentenced to the clink today for wasting everyone’s fucking time with that Balloon Boy charade!

The judge dropped his gavel and declared that Richard Heene must spend 30 days behind bars starting January 11, 2010. After that, he’ll serve an additional 60 days under “work release.” That means he’ll work at his normal job during the day, and spend the night all comfy-like in the hairy arms of his cellmate Pookie. Richard will also be placed on 4 years probation and he will have to complete 100 hours of community service.

As for Mayumi, the judge gifted her with 20 days in jail. Just like her husband, Mayumi also got 4 years probation and must complete 120 hours of community service.

Richard and Mayumi both have to write a letter of apology and they can’t profit from the Balloon Boy fuckery for at least 4 years.

The judge didn’t say anything about Richard and Mayumi having to pay the city back the $46,000 that was wasted on looking for Balloon Boy.

And now we can all gather up the memories we wasted on these assholes, put it in a Jiffy Pop Balloon and release it into the sky. That’s the last of them! Actually, they will probably come back into our lives in 4 years when they remake the Balloon Boy hoax. Everything gets remade. Even this.

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