Two People You Don’t Care About Broke Up

It’s the week of spiked egg nog, sad checking accounts and shoot outs over the last Zu Zu Pet (just give it to Richard Gere), so gossip is slower than a Hugh Hefner cum shot. So put on your “pretend to care” face when reading about these two assholes from The Hills breaking up. Or just skip this shit and ransack your office supply room for last-minute Christmas gifts.

UsWeekly reports that Brody Jenner and Jayde Nicole have ended their fairytale romance after 15 months together. Jayde wrote on her Twitter the other day: “‘Sometimes when you truly love someone you have to let them go…..’ I never really understood that quote until now.”

A source said that Brody told Jayde that he needed to spend sometime by himself. Brody has apparently gone to Australia for a little soul-searching. More like a little hole-searching.

The truth is, Brody made the decision after his optometrist updated his contacts prescription and took a good look at Jayde Nicole’s face. THAT FACE. A face like that only belongs on a villain who is trying to take over Gotham City. Such a young bitch, and she’s already on step 6 of 10 to becoming a Wildenstein. Bitch is taking the carpool lane.